Sunday, December 5, 2010

.i'm not sad, i'm just in a state of being.

like limbo, i'm neither happy or sad, lonely or together, i'm existing. and right now i'm fine with that. i've come to realize, after the last two relationships, that things don't really hit me until way later on. after the shock value wears off i suppose. it's been months since i kicked my ex out. MONTHS. but there was so much that happened during that time, that my head is just starting to really grasp and sort out everything. including regaining my sanity, literally.  don't feel bad for me, those of you know who you are. I'm fine just preoccupied by a lot of subconscious rewiring, sorting out and trying to forget soo much and soo many feelings, i wish no one to go through what i did, it was terrible, and finally i think i have learned my lesson, well at least i think so and bitterness and resentment towards myself the world and those of the male gender is my way of coping, like the old saying, time heals everything. Well now is my time and i need as much of it as possible. i'm bullheaded and half of this is bullshit, b/c i'm bullheaded and i feel like i cant break down even though thats sometimes exactly what i want to.
Like silverstein said "dont be sad, cause life goes on, it's getting too late tomorrow is here"

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