I don't believe in love for many reasons. Mostly it seems made it up, it doesn't seem part of our human nature, it's like "love" is actually a long term cocktail of lust and the intrinsic need of having someone around, or maybe that is just what love is really all about. I believe in compassion, I believe in mother's need to take care of and to protect her children/offspring, to continue her DNA, but it seems as though that as humans evolved there was a need to name this instinctual drive and analyze it and turn it over and around and upside down until some name was given upon, and some fantastical ideal was given to it. Love is impossible. People's feelings change far too often for love to exist. Yes, your grandparents may have been married for 75 years, but do they really truly still "love" each other like they did in those first few years, or even months back then, when they were first married and prior too? I doubt it. I truly feel like people become so used to each other and that pressures from society to not look like a complete failure kept them together. Then finally, they were too old and set in their ways that it just seemed like more work and effort to go out and find a partner rather and start over than just stay put and quietly tolerate each other for the kids, the family, the seemingly perfect neighborly couple. If you couldn't tell already, I don't believe in marriage but that's for a barrage of other reasons too.
This is just my, maybe coming from a sore spot in my heart, maybe I'm bitter, or more likely it's truth. That's what it feels to me. In this past year, I think that love's existence, or lack there of, has been my biggest lesson.
And it's also just so possible i will look back on this years from now and think to myself how immature you were rosa, or also very possible, how right you were.
Friday, November 19, 2010
I have no problem doing things on my own anymore. I used to have a major complex about evening stepping foot out of my apartment without someone with me to even just go eat. BUT now i love doing everything on my own, including going to the movies now, which i did last night, and let me tell you, Due Date is HILARIOUS. =]
Anyways, I've been going to new places by myself, since I have a habit of just going to Melt and Sidewinder on my own, I decide to mix it up and stop in at Blue Jay's for a veggie pita and fries before work. My good friend CJ inspired this one for me. Also, I have been reading Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu's teachings and the basis of Taoism/Daoism. Honestly, in all it's murky poeticness, I'm starting to get it, and I have to say, I'll be reading this book over and over again. Pick it up. It 's worth your time.
Monday, November 8, 2010
about having a b/f /significant other.....
waking up next to that person under the blanket with the sun shining in making the room glow with warmth.....
...with sleepy eyes and a good morning sleepy smile...
...no words and the wonders of two beautiful bodies and the absolute enchantment of skin to skin..........
.....then finally those lovely conversations and never leaving that more than pleasant, untroubled, content place.........
...those mornings are what i miss more than anything.
But its not a person I miss, it's that feeling, that nothing could ever be wrong when mornings like this exist. That is what i want to feel again.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
When i make it back to my hometown, I every once in a while make it to this more-than-lovely antique shop, it's definitely been one of the best I've been to. And I've been to quite a few around the U.S. ha. BUT if you are an antiquer too, and for some reason go through Lynchburg, Ohio, stop in, the owner is friendly and usually doing something around the store (generally trying to find empty space for his new additions), there is an upstairs that deserves your attention as well. It's quite a spectacle and I strongly urge you to check it out. :)
Posted by Rosa at 10:51 AM